{"id":8495,"date":"2023-05-14T07:44:42","date_gmt":"2023-05-14T11:44:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ifintechworld.com\/news\/can-we-ever-really-have-enough\/"},"modified":"2023-05-14T07:44:43","modified_gmt":"2023-05-14T11:44:43","slug":"can-we-ever-really-have-enough","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ifintechworld.com\/?p=8495","title":{"rendered":"Can We Ever Really Have Enough?"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

January 2004. I\u2019d been in the financial business for five years. Having spent the first four on the institutional side, I was a newly minted financial advisor, building a business from scratch without a salary or stipend. And then came our first child and the decision to eliminate our only predictable income stream.<\/p>\n

I remember seeing the checking account dip down into double digits and comparing a looming stack of bills with a spotty pipeline of new business\u2014unwilling to voice aloud a recurring daydream:<\/p>\n

If I only had a guaranteed salary of $X with an annual cost of living adjustment, I\u2019d be fine with that for the rest of my career.<\/p>\n

Hah! Looking back, I\u2019m glad the genie didn\u2019t emerge from the bottle. But that didn\u2019t stop me from returning to a new-and-improved version of the daydream in January of 2009.<\/p>\n

Business had been good, and income was stable, but now with two kiddos, a puppy, and a very recent housing upgrade to accommodate our growth as a family, I was comparing our household budget to the daily headlines announcing a financial crisis that was starting to rival an event that shall not be named from the late twenties with the initials G. D. As the stock market was crashing, uncertainty was peaking.<\/p>\n

If only I had a guaranteed salary of $Y with a bank account of $Z, that<\/em> would be enough.<\/p>\n

Have you ever had these kinds of conversations with yourself? And have you ever not<\/em> expanded your definition of enough in the future?<\/p>\n

<\/fbs-ad><\/p>\n

If so, you\u2019re not broken.<\/p>\n

Why is enough never enough?<\/h2>\n

Apparently, we\u2019re wired for dissatisfaction. Social scientist and Harvard Business School professor, Arthur Brooks, explains that \u201csatisfaction\u2014the joy from fulfillment of our wishes or expectations\u2014is evanescent.\u201d<\/p>\n

Evanescent. Wait\u2014isn\u2019t that a band name? (Close.) Brooks explains further that satisfaction \u201cis the greatest paradox of human life. We crave it, we believe we can get it, we glimpse it and maybe even experience it for a brief moment, and then it vanishes. But we never give up on our quest to get and hold on to it.\u201d<\/p>\n

This is partly explained by a term most of us learned in high school: homeostasis. Our body is always seeking equilibrium so as we experience highs or lows, something is trying to bring us back to normal.<\/p>\n

A biological example is evident in the consumption of alcohol or other recreational drugs. The experience was never more vivid than the first time, thanks to the dopamine rush in the brain’s pleasure center. Thereafter, it requires more and more of the drug to achieve the same result because our bodies are creating less dopamine naturally to balance out the external influx. Our bodies effectively create a new normal.<\/p>\n

It works the same way for our emotions, Brooks instructs. \u201cWhen you get an emotional shock\u2014good or bad\u2014your brain wants to re-equilibrate, making it hard to stay on the high or low for very long.\u201d Especially in the case of positive emotions, he writes. \u201cIt\u2019s why, when you achieve conventional, acquisitive success,\u201d like the pursuits of money, power, and prestige, \u201cyou can never get enough.\u201d<\/p>\n

What can we do?<\/h2>\n

So, is lasting contentment\u2014enough\u2014just elusive, or is it impossible? While we might be fighting an uphill biological battle, thankfully, there are steps we can take to find genuine satisfaction. Let\u2019s consider a trio of possibilities that you can apply as soon as, well, now:<\/p>\n

1) Work with the science<\/strong>. If we\u2019re wired for achievement, let\u2019s just give ourselves more opportunities for that endorphin rush. One way we can achieve more is to do less, what productivity guru, Cal Newport, calls \u201cThe Einstein Principle.\u201d<\/p>\n

Another way is to break larger goals into bite-sized chunks. Each member of my company\u2019s senior leadership team has a few stated goals for the year. But then we each establish a single, quarterly \u201crock\u201d (thanks, Stephen Covey) that is comprised of three 30-day milestones (thanks, Gino Wickman), and we meet weekly to discuss our progress (or lack thereof) on meeting those goals.<\/p>\n

Then, we can derive even more satisfaction from our daily pursuits, as Daniel Pink reminds us, through the identification and pursuit of our MIT\u2014Most Important Task\u2014every day.<\/p>\n

2) Want less<\/strong>. Because the achievement and accumulation of more can never satisfy, \u201cthe secret is to manage our wants,\u201d says Arthur Brooks. \u201cBy managing what we want instead of what we have, we give ourselves a chance to lead more satisfied lives.\u201d<\/p>\n

One of the best want-less strategies I can recommend is a brief exercise to examine the cost of our wants. As my good friend, Pat Goodman, taught me: \u201cYou can\u2019t just want what you want; you have to want what your wants lead to.\u201d Whether you\u2019re considering one more cocktail after a night of merriment or a new purchase, this wisdom is eminently applicable.<\/p>\n

You can\u2019t just want the cocktail unless you also want the mental fog the next morning. You can\u2019t just want to double the square footage of your house; you have to want to double your mortgage payment (maybe triple with the rise in rates!) and double your cost of utilities and maintenance.<\/p>\n

Our wants tend to present themselves as temptations without tradeoffs, but there is no such thing. And by pausing to consider the cost of our wants, it can have the effect of diminishing their power in our minds.<\/p>\n

3) Count your blessings<\/strong>. If Arthur Brooks is right that our \u201csatisfaction equals our haves divided by our wants,\u201d it makes mathematical sense that we can increase our satisfaction by decreasing our wants. But isn\u2019t it also possible to increase the value of our haves\u2014without actually having more\u2014through the practice of gratitude?<\/p>\n

The power of gratitude is well-worn for a reason\u2014because it works. I asked Brian Portnoy, the author of multiple best-selling books and founder of the consulting firm, Shaping Wealth, whose mission is \u201cfunded contentment for everyone,\u201d if there\u2019s anything we can do to be more content.<\/p>\n

He responded, \u201cContentment starts with gratitude, with the observation that there are good things in the world and that we are blessed by them. This isn’t always obvious or easy; life is hard. But to pause and reflect on the good is a power within everyone’s reach, one we can all avail ourselves of, at least from time to time.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ironically, I began writing this article in a state of discontentment, bemoaning to my wife that I was struggling to find an optimal zone of concentration, having been \u201ckicked out of my home office.\u201d She didn\u2019t even need to say anything before I remembered that my oldest son just got home from his first year of college, we\u2019re fortunate enough to have his delightful girlfriend staying with us for a few days, and by allowing my office to act as a guest room, she\u2019s able to have some privacy and a comfortable place to sleep.<\/p>\n

The most important people in my life, together.<\/p>\n

What more could I want?<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Read the full article here<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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