I\u2019m afraid to bring this up with friends in case they call me a \u201cKaren\u201d or tell me I\u2019m being selfish or a skinflint. Over the past 12 months, I have seen my rent go up by 25%. I\u2019m paying $3,200 for a one-bedroom apartment. I will never be able to save for my own place. I struggle to pay off my credit cards every month. I wear dresses and, in some cases, shoes that I bought 10 years ago. I\u2019m lucky enough to fit into the dresses, and I can\u2019t afford to spend money on \u201cluxury items\u201d or \u201cwants\u201d anymore. My company is cutting back on staff, and I\u2019m waiting for the other shoe to drop.\u00a0<\/p>\n
\n \u201c<\/span>\u2018Not tipping 20% makes you look like some kind of fascist. I tipped 15% once on a date, and I never saw him again.\u2019\u201d<\/span>\n <\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n I eat out twice a week, usually on weekends, and I am constantly put out by how much it costs for a glass of wine or a cocktail with dinner. As much as a starter, if you want to ask. I went to a famous pizza joint in my neighborhood last weekend, and we had two pizzas, a shared starter, a gin and tonic, a Negroni, and a glass of wine each, and it cost us $208. That\u2019s $104. Plus, another $20 each for a tip. We started out going for pizza. How is this possible? My friend didn\u2019t even eat her pizza and I told her, \u201cYou just spent $124 on a cocktail and a glass of wine.\u201d<\/p>\n Given the increase in the cost of living, I\u2019m hung up on the 20% rule. I live in a big city. You can pay $7 for a coffee. A coffee! Not tipping 20% makes you look like some kind of fascist. I tipped 15% once on a date, and the guy made some smart comment, \u201cOh, you\u2019re only tipping 15%?\u201d and I never saw him again. Cabs now cost $30 for a three-mile ride. Is it ever OK to tip less than 20%? Soon we will be tipping 25% or 30%, or more. I\u2019m sorry for ranting, but I\u2019m sick and tired of being guilted into tipping everywhere I go.<\/p>\n Am I right? Or am I a cheapskate? Please enlighten me.<\/p>\n Over Tipping<\/p>\n Even if you wrote this in anger, you are correct about a lot: rents are increasing, many restaurants have upped their prices since the pandemic, many companies \u2014 more than 170,000 jobs lost in the technology sector since the start of 2023 \u2014 are cutting back on staff, and we don\u2019t know if there is a recession around the corner. Economists generally recommend you spend no more than 30% of your gross income on rent, and yet many people are considered \u201cseverely rent burdened\u201d and are spending far more than those guidelines.<\/p>\n And you are correct about tipping. People are encouraged to tip wait staff. They generally rely on tips in addition to their salary to make ends meet. How much you tip is entirely up to you, unless you are in one of those high-end restaurants where they add a tip of 20% or 25% to parties of six or more. That\u2019s to help ensure that a table that may occupy a restaurant for several hours during an evening does not end up stiffing the wait staff. Polls regularly show a majority of people tip 20% or even 25% for good service, but that also depends on where you live.<\/p>\n \n \u201c<\/span>\u2018If you can afford to eat out twice a week, and pay for a G&T and a glass of wine, you can afford to tip 20%.\u2019\u201d<\/span>\n <\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n If you go to a restaurant in a city like New York, Seattle or San Francisco, expect to pay $16 or $18 for a glass of wine or a cocktail. You\u2019re not just paying for the drink, you\u2019re paying for rent, lighting, heating, chef, kitchen staff, cleaning staff, wait staff, in addition to the alcohol itself. Custom dictates that 20% suggests good service. If the staff is extra friendly and helpful, feel free to go higher, but budget tipping into your evening in the same way you budget your drinks. If you can afford to eat out twice a week, and pay for a G&T and a glass of wine, you can afford to tip 20%.<\/p>\n Digital tipping is trickier. It has spread from coffee shops to ice-cream parlors, and even self-checkout kiosks. I don\u2019t always trust the company that the tip will find its way to the proper recipient. Machines use the \u201cpath of least resistance\u201d model when they ask you to choose, 15%, 20%, 35% or custom your own tip. Most people choose a prepared choice, or choose the middle value so they don\u2019t feel like a Scrooge. I don\u2019t mind when pharmacies ask to round up my payment to donate to a charity. Every little helps. And together we can make a big difference.<\/p>\n But service workers have put their health and their lives on the line during the pandemic. One study published last year looked at 69,000 cases of adults aged between 25 and 64, and concluded that labor, service and retail workers accounted for 68% of deaths in the first year of the COVID-19 pandemic. Restaurants went out of business, and those that remain have fought valiantly to regain their customers\u2019 business. Less than a third of restaurants offer employer-sponsored health insurance, according to this research.\u00a0<\/p>\n I would only consider tipping less than 20% if the service was abominable. Why? If I am sitting pretty, waiting for someone to cook and serve me food, I can afford it.<\/p>\n You\u00a0can email The Moneyist with any financial and ethical questions at qfottrell@marketwatch.com, and follow Quentin Fottrell on\u00a0Twitter.<\/a><\/strong><\/em><\/strong><\/em><\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n Check out\u00a0the Moneyist private Facebook<\/strong><\/em>\u00a0group, where we look for answers to life\u2019s thorniest money issues. Readers write to me with all sorts of dilemmas.\u00a0<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n By emailing your questions, you agree to have them published anonymously on MarketWatch. By submitting your story to Dow Jones & Co., the publisher of MarketWatch, you understand and agree that we may use your story, or versions of it, in all media and platforms, including via third parties<\/em><\/strong>.<\/p>\n The Moneyist regrets he cannot reply to questions individually.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n More from Quentin Fottrell:<\/strong><\/p>\n \u2018I feel used\u2019: My partner stays with me 5 nights a week, even though he owns his own home. Should he pay for utilities and food?\u00a0<\/p>\n Should I invest $20,000 in cash or stocks? The stock market is volatile, and the Fed hiked rates (again).<\/p>\n \u2018Poor people are not stupid\u2019: I grew up in poverty, earned $14 an hour, and inherited $150,000. Here\u2019s what I have learned from my windfall.<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\nDear Over Tipping,<\/strong><\/h2>\n