{"id":47186,"date":"2023-08-11T09:01:45","date_gmt":"2023-08-11T13:01:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ifintechworld.com\/news\/opinion-you-save-your-partner-spends-dont-let-money-doom-your-relationship\/"},"modified":"2023-08-11T09:01:47","modified_gmt":"2023-08-11T13:01:47","slug":"opinion-you-save-your-partner-spends-dont-let-money-doom-your-relationship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ifintechworld.com\/?p=47186","title":{"rendered":"Opinion: You save; your partner spends. Don\u2019t let money doom your relationship."},"content":{"rendered":"
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\n \u201c<\/span> Working out financial differences requires couples to communicate clearly and regularly. Easier said than done.\u201d<\/span>\n <\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n

You\u2019re a saver, or at least your partner tells you so. You have a plan for most pennies that you\u2019d stick to if it wasn\u2019t for your partner. At least, that\u2019s what you tell yourself.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Your partner is a spender who enjoys living in the moment. It\u2019s perfectly fine to grab takeout when in a hurry or buys clothes that aren\u2019t really needed.<\/p>\n

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Money is often a source of conflict in relationships. It\u2019s not uncommon for savers to become agitated when their partner continually impulsively spends. Nor is it unusual for savers to marry spenders.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u201cThese differences often arise in marriages between people who grew up in different social classes,\u201d says Jessi Streiban, a sociology professor at Duke University who studies relationships among socio-economic classes. <\/p>\n

She added: \u201cThe person who grew up with little money wants to buy things they couldn\u2019t as children, and isn\u2019t as concerned with saving \u2014 they\u2019ve gotten by their whole lives without a large savings account. The person who grew up with a safety net often wants to keep it, and so wants to save more.\u201d<\/p>\n

Left unspoken, small transactions can feel like a series of micro-stresses that eventually lead to an argument. Experts agree that working out financial differences requires couples to communicate clearly and regularly. <\/p>\n

Yet talking about money doesn\u2019t come easily for some.\u00a0Our relationships with money often originate from our childhood and can be damaged by financial trauma. Talking with your spouse about money is a skill that can require an empathetic approach so that you can understand your partner\u2019s choices and respond without blame or shame.<\/p>\n

Experts agree that these conversations occur best in a scheduled and comfortable setting. Spending time regularly to discuss shared financial goals, values, and your relationship with money is often called money dates.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe use of money typically represents our strongest and most closely held values,\u201d said Sonya Lutter, director of financial health and wellness at Texas Tech University. \u201cIf we don\u2019t want children to have the experiences we had as a child, we use our resources to provide experiences and stuff to avoid our unpleasant memories. Money brings the power and ability \u2014 to some extent \u2014 to modify our own emotions.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n

Couples also benefit when systems, habits, or agreements are implemented to slow thinking into a more reflective state.\u00a0\u201cImpulsive spending largely involves fast, automatic thinking associated with emotions and feelings in the moment,\u201d said Stephen Shu, a behavioral economist who teaches at Cornell University. \u201cPeople are often in a hot state when impulsive purchases happen.\u201d<\/p>\n

He added: \u201cThe key is to consider slowing down thinking, thinking about goals versus alternatives, and having some discipline to test different methods and see which ones work for you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Yours, mine and ours<\/h2>\n

With such strong feelings surrounding money, some couples find it easier to keep the peace by maintaining joint accounts for most of their money and establishing personal accounts for minor spending choices where there is strong disagreement about how those dollars should be spent. This strategy is often called \u201cYours, Mine, and Ours.\u201d<\/p>\n

There are several advantages to splitting your finances in marriage using this approach, but it doesn\u2019t come without risks. Several studies, including recent research, have found that couples who pool their money express greater marital satisfaction and have fewer divorces.<\/p>\n

\u201cTo find the right tools for you and your partner, financial intimacy is essential,\u201d says Michael Gene Thomas, a lecturer at the University of Georgia who focuses on people\u2019s financial well-being. \u201cIt involves communicating vulnerabilities and understanding each other\u2019s thoughts, attitudes, and emotions about money. Trust, consistency, and compromise form the foundation for a successful strategy, as consistency is the only thing that compounds.\u201d<\/p>\n

Brian Page is co-host of the Modern Husbands Podcast and founder of Modern Husbands, which helps couples manage money and the home and offers \u201cMoney Marriage U,\u201d online courses that provide financial therapy and financial planning lessons. Michael Gene Thomas, Jessi Streib and Stephen Shu serve on the Modern Husbands Advisory Board. <\/em><\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/div>\n

Read the full article here<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201c Working out financial differences requires couples to communicate clearly and regularly. Easier said than done.\u201d You\u2019re a saver, or at least your partner tells you so. You have a plan for most pennies that you\u2019d stick to if it wasn\u2019t for your partner. At least, that\u2019s what you tell yourself.\u00a0 Your partner is a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":32682,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"gallery","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[236],"tags":[83],"class_list":["post-47186","post","type-post","status-publish","format-gallery","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-news","tag-featured","post_format-post-format-gallery"],"yoast_head":"\nOpinion: You save; your partner spends. Don\u2019t let money doom your relationship. | iFintechWorld<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"\u201c Working out financial differences requires couples to communicate clearly and regularly. 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