{"id":44397,"date":"2023-08-04T08:19:01","date_gmt":"2023-08-04T12:19:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ifintechworld.com\/news\/my-sibling-borrows-hundreds-of-thousands-of-dollars-from-our-parents-should-i-take-my-inheritance-now-before-its-too-late\/"},"modified":"2023-08-04T08:19:02","modified_gmt":"2023-08-04T12:19:02","slug":"my-sibling-borrows-hundreds-of-thousands-of-dollars-from-our-parents-should-i-take-my-inheritance-now-before-its-too-late","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ifintechworld.com\/?p=44397","title":{"rendered":"My sibling \u2018borrows\u2019 hundreds of thousands of dollars from our parents. Should I take my inheritance now before it\u2019s too late?"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

Dear Quentin,<\/strong><\/h2>\n

One of my siblings has been having \u201ccash flow\u201d issues, and has been asking for help from the family. This sibling lives at home, and has no college degree and has abused other family members\u2019 credit by opening credit cards, resulting in late fees and interest, and borrowing money without repaying it. Once, a family member was berated for asking for their money back.<\/p>\n

\n

Once in a while, they will ask for money to buy cryptocurrencies or invest in a business, and later claim that the business was not successful. Our parents have given hundreds of thousands of dollars over the past decade. What would you do? I\u2019m doing fine working a full-time job, and I understand that our parents\u2019 money belongs to them, and they decide how to spend it.\u00a0<\/p>\n

However, I\u2019m fearful that one day when I need help, our family funds will have all been spent helping this sibling. Should I ask for money now before it runs out?<\/p>\n

The Well Is Running Dry<\/p>\n

Dear Running,<\/strong><\/h2>\n

The call from the scammer \u2014 in this case \u2014 is coming from inside the house. <\/p>\n

The best thing you can do now is make sure you are everything this sibling is not: financially independent, honest, kind and upfront. Help yourself by making sure you will never have to rely on your parents\u2019 inheritance. Help your sibling by no longer enabling them, and help your parents by holding a family meeting to talk about being badgered, berated and bewildered by this family member. Do not normalize this behavior. Your family should not be taken hostage \u2014 financially or emotionally \u2014 by one sibling. It\u2019s time to cut them off.<\/p>\n

Your sibling appears to see dollar signs at the bottom of your parents\u2019 teacups. Don\u2019t do the same, and allow this to lead to a free-for-all where all your siblings tap your mother and father for money Your parents\u2019 financial security and safety must come first. Help them organize their estate plan, with an attorney and, if necessary, set up a family trust to put the rest of the family money beyond the reach of this sibling \u2014 I am assuming that amounts to at least hundreds of thousands of dollars. No more enabling. The word \u201cno\u201d gets easier the more you say it.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n
\n

\n \u201c<\/span> \u2018The word \u201cno\u201d gets easier the more you say it.\u2019\u201d<\/span>\n <\/p>\n


\n \u2014 The Moneyist<\/span>
\n <\/small><\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n

Now, a warning. The fear of reprisal for not agreeing to your sibling\u2019s demands raises a red flag. Undue influence, duress and pressure on an individual who has lack of capacity could constitute elder abuse. The National Center on Elder Abuse, a government agency affiliated with the U.S. Administration on Aging, and the nonprofit National Adult Protective Services Association both have resources and can provide help with the steps you can take to report any alleged abuse. First it\u2019s a favor here and a favor there; next it\u2019s clothing, jewelry and expensive artworks.<\/p>\n

Given the amount of money involved, this could get worse before it gets better. Elder abuse affects an estimated 5 million Americans annually, according to the National Council on Aging, and multiple agencies say that number is increasing and underreported. Your family could be under some kind of undue influence or duress. The fact that it\u2019s been going on for so long \u2014 including stolen credit-card information, which really should be reported to the police \u2014 is concerning. If your credit has been compromised, contact the credit bureaus to lock it.<\/p>\n

As your parents age, they will become even more vulnerable. When a person is isolated by a partner or an adult child, friend, neighbor or caregiver, the results can be catastrophic to a person\u2019s health and finances. \u201cUndue influence is a psychological process that may be used against an older person as a means of committing two forms of elder abuse: financial exploitation or sexual abuse,\u201d according to the National Center on Law & Elder Rights. The worst thing that can happen is that this kind of bullying and harassment be allowed to continue. <\/p>\n

The longer this is allowed to continue, the worse the situation will get.<\/p>\n

Readers write to me with all sorts of dilemmas.\u00a0<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

By emailing your questions, you agree to have them published anonymously on MarketWatch. By submitting your story to Dow Jones & Co., the publisher of MarketWatch, you understand and agree that we may use your story, or versions of it, in all media and platforms, including via third parties<\/em><\/strong>.<\/p>\n

The Moneyist regrets he cannot reply to questions individually.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

More from Quentin Fottrell:<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u2018Am I a bad husband?\u2019 My wife thinks she\u2019s Kim Kardashian. She buys clothes, cocktails and has $10,000 in credit-card debt.<\/p>\n

\u2018I can\u2019t sustain this pace\u2019: I\u2019m 61, single and have an MBA. I\u2019m draining my savings after losing my job. What\u2019s my next move?<\/p>\n

I mailed a $280 Le Creuset pot as a wedding gift and never received a thank-you note. I fear it never arrived. Is it gauche to ask?<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/div>\n

Read the full article here<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dear Quentin, One of my siblings has been having \u201ccash flow\u201d issues, and has been asking for help from the family. This sibling lives at home, and has no college degree and has abused other family members\u2019 credit by opening credit cards, resulting in late fees and interest, and borrowing money without repaying it. Once, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1096,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"gallery","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[236],"tags":[83],"class_list":["post-44397","post","type-post","status-publish","format-gallery","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-news","tag-featured","post_format-post-format-gallery"],"yoast_head":"\nMy sibling \u2018borrows\u2019 hundreds of thousands of dollars from our parents. 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