{"id":28623,"date":"2023-06-28T09:19:33","date_gmt":"2023-06-28T13:19:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ifintechworld.com\/news\/my-husband-wrote-a-secret-will-when-our-marriage-was-in-a-bad-place-is-this-legal-should-i-do-the-same\/"},"modified":"2023-06-28T09:19:35","modified_gmt":"2023-06-28T13:19:35","slug":"my-husband-wrote-a-secret-will-when-our-marriage-was-in-a-bad-place-is-this-legal-should-i-do-the-same","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ifintechworld.com\/?p=28623","title":{"rendered":"My husband wrote a secret will when our marriage was in a bad place. Is this legal? Should I do the same?"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

Dear Moneyist,<\/strong><\/h2>\n

My husband wrote a secret last will and testament when we were in a bad place in our marriage. I do not know what is in this new will, but it\u2019s still current and in his brother\u2019s possession. We are in a much better place in our relationship now. However, I would like to write my own will. My husband is currently the beneficiary on my life-insurance policy. I would now like to change that, and split this 50\/50 between him and my daughter.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\n

Some questions: Would I have to change the policy? I do not want him to sell any of the assets in my name as I want to make sure they are secure for my daughter\u2019s future. Can I specify this in my will? I would like to leave my 401(k) and IRA accounts to my daughter and husband, splitting them 50\/50. What is the best way of doing this? Should I specify this in my will? Is it legal for me to write my own will without my husband\u2019s knowledge?\u00a0<\/p>\n

The Wife<\/p>\n

Dear Wife,<\/h2>\n

The most efficient way to do this is to change the beneficiary on the policy. Talk to your estate lawyer about a trust for your daughter, should she still be a minor at the time of your death. Make separate wills and keep them with your attorney. Many states allow you to file your will with the probate court; it\u2019s not a job for relatives. However, you need to change the beneficiary on the actual life-insurance policy; such beneficiary designations are excluded from probate automatically. Under federal law, your husband will need to sign a waiver to relinquish his claim to your 401(k).<\/p>\n

I urge you both to be 100% open and honest about your plans. If your husband discovers you changed the beneficiaries on your IRA account, it would erode the trust you have built up now that your relationship is going in the right direction. A breach of your trust today could lead to an unraveling of your relationship and bank balance. If you live in a community property state, your marital assets would be divided 50\/50. If you live in an equitable distribution state, they are divided in a way that is fair and equitable should you divorce.<\/p>\n

The bottom line is that your husband can make a will without your knowledge, as can you. Under the law, a person making a will (or signing a power of attorney) must be of sound mind \u2014 also known as \u201ctestamentary capacity\u201d \u2014 and not under or subject to duress, restraint, fraud or undue influence. But laws do vary by states. For example, in Pennsylvania each spouse can write a separate will, but you can\u2019t can\u2019t create a will that cuts your husband out of all inheritance, according to Karen Ann Ulmer Attorneys at Law, which has offices in that state.\u00a0<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n
\n

\n \u201c<\/span>\u2018All of these talks \u2014 financial, legal and personal \u2014 prevents dry rot from setting in. \u2018\u201d<\/span>\n <\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n

\u201cYou can elect to receive a third of qualified property under this election,\u201d the law firm says. \u201cQualifying property includes: any property that would go through probate or be included in a will; property associated with income that the spouse was entitled to during the marriage; part of joint accounts the deceased spouse owned; annuity payments if the spouse that passed away was receiving payments from an annuity purchased during the marriage; and gifts of more than $3,000 made within the year prior to the other spouse\u2019s death.\u201d<\/p>\n

State laws aside, the fact that your husband made a new will and you have not discussed it obviously raises red flags about trust and transparency in your marriage. I encourage you to face this issue head on and talk about the reasons he acted unilaterally without discussing it with you. Research shows that financial reasons are one of the main causes for divorce. It\u2019s time to discuss these end-of-life plans together. Having discussions about inheritance is good practice for you both when it comes to estate planning, and your day-to-day financial planning.\u00a0<\/p>\n

These discussions are often difficult, but necessary, and the more time you have these talks the easier they will become. Today, you may have a frank talk about saving for your daughter\u2019s college fees using a tax-advantaged 529 plan, and tomorrow you could have an equally awkward discussion about how you each engage with each other on an emotional level. All of these talks \u2014 financial, legal and personal \u2014 prevents dry rot from setting in. Full disclosure bodes well for the longevity of your relationship, and your willingness to ensure that you are a team, and have learned from your past mistakes.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Readers write to me with all sorts of dilemmas.\u00a0<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

By emailing your questions, you agree to have them published anonymously on MarketWatch. Letters may be edited and adapted for style, clarity and space.<\/em><\/em><\/strong> By submitting your story to Dow Jones & Co., the publisher of MarketWatch, you understand and agree that we may use your story, or versions of it, in all media and platforms, including via third parties<\/em><\/strong>. <\/p>\n

The Moneyist regrets he cannot reply to questions individually.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

More from Quentin Fottrell:<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u2018I\u2019m living paycheck to paycheck and I feel drained\u2019: My fianc\u00e9 said he would pay half of the mortgage. Guess what happened next?<\/p>\n

\u2018It was quite a shock\u2019: Can I sue my sister for my father\u2019s ashes? He died 7 months ago, but she never told me.<\/p>\n

\u2018We\u2019re very upset!\u2019 We gave a friend $400 concert tickets and $2,000 Rangers seats, but weren\u2019t invited to his wedding. Do we speak up?<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/div>\n

Read the full article here<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dear Moneyist, My husband wrote a secret last will and testament when we were in a bad place in our marriage. I do not know what is in this new will, but it\u2019s still current and in his brother\u2019s possession. We are in a much better place in our relationship now. However, I would like […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":28624,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"gallery","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[236],"tags":[83],"class_list":["post-28623","post","type-post","status-publish","format-gallery","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-news","tag-featured","post_format-post-format-gallery"],"yoast_head":"\nMy husband wrote a secret will when our marriage was in a bad place. Is this legal? Should I do the same? | iFintechWorld<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Dear Moneyist, My husband wrote a secret last will and testament when we were in a bad place in our marriage. 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