{"id":25854,"date":"2023-06-22T05:00:18","date_gmt":"2023-06-22T09:00:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ifintechworld.com\/news\/were-very-upset-we-gave-a-friend-400-concert-tickets-and-2k-rangers-box-seats-but-werent-invited-to-his-wedding-do-we-speak-up\/"},"modified":"2023-06-22T05:00:19","modified_gmt":"2023-06-22T09:00:19","slug":"were-very-upset-we-gave-a-friend-400-concert-tickets-and-2k-rangers-box-seats-but-werent-invited-to-his-wedding-do-we-speak-up","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ifintechworld.com\/?p=25854","title":{"rendered":"\u2018We\u2019re very upset!\u2019 We gave a friend $400 concert tickets and $2K Rangers box seats, but weren\u2019t invited to his wedding. Do we speak up?"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

Dear Quentin,<\/h2>\n

Bradley, a guy who went to high school with my husband and college with me, is getting married, and we were not invited. Normally as an antisocial person, I wouldn\u2019t even bat an eyelid. Of a dozen or so male friends from high school who are all in a very active group chat together, my husband was the only one who was not invited to Bradley\u2019s wedding.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\n

He was never a fan of paying for things in college (and likely has not changed much) so we would often pay for his food using our meal points. Bradley would also frequently \u201cforget\u201d his wallet when we went out to bars, which he got away with because he was a decent-looking fella by societal standards, and occasionally told funny jokes.\u00a0<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n
\n

\n \u201c<\/span>\u2018Bradley would also frequently \u201cforget\u201d his wallet when we went out to bars, which he usually got away with because he was a decent-looking fella by societal standards and occasionally told funny jokes.\u2019\u201d<\/span>\n <\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n

Fast forward to 2023: he and his girlfriend took up on our offer to watch a New York Rangers game from box seats (valued at $2,000 each), and accepted a pair of tickets to a concert (valued at $400) that we couldn\u2019t make at the last-minute. For free! We didn\u2019t really expect anything in return, but at least I thought we\u2019d be invited to their wedding.<\/p>\n

Needless to say, we are very upset that we did not receive an invitation. My husband is probably one of the nicest guys you would meet, and he doesn\u2019t like confrontations, so he\u2019s quite confused and hurt by it. My theory is that the girlfriend isn\u2019t a big fan of mine. However, if she didn\u2019t like me, why did she agree to all of these free things?<\/p>\n

I totally respect what others want to do with their wedding, what kind of wedding they wish to have, where they choose to have it, and \u2014 yes \u2014 who they choose to invite. I would not care at all had we not been the only ones being excluded, especially given our recent exchanges of free gifts. Am I overreacting? Do we speak up? I would appreciate your wisdom on this.<\/p>\n

Friend and Wife<\/p>\n

Dear Friend and Wife,<\/strong><\/h2>\n

The first rule of life and finance: If you give a gift, don\u2019t expect anything in return.\u00a0<\/p>\n

If you were banking on an invite to Bradley\u2019s wedding, you were<\/em> expecting something in return. Whether it\u2019s $400 concert tickets or $2,000 box seats at a Rangers game, you give them with God\u2019s blessings, or the blessings of the gods. If you give a friend\u2019s child $100 for their bar mitzvah, give your doorman $300, or tip 20% in a restaurant, you do so based on what has gone before. <\/p>\n

Expectations lead to resentments, and the tough work starts now. You have both been tested. You could argue that Bradley has given your husband an extremely valuable gift, even if he did so inadvertently. Every employee who does not receive their desired pay raise or promotion faces the same dilemma: remain or exit with dignity. And do so without rancor or resentment. It\u2019s not as easy as it sounds.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n
\n

\n \u201c<\/span>\u2018Every employee who did not receive their desired pay raise or promotion faces the same dilemma: remain or exit with dignity. And do so without rancor or resentment. It\u2019s not as easy as it sounds.\u2019\u201d<\/span>\n <\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n

Your letter also says Bradley has a history of not paying his way, and that he should not have excluded your husband. So it\u2019s not such an uncharacteristic swerve. Perhaps Bradley\u2019s fianc\u00e9e has issues with you, or has her own private reasons for not dispatching an invitation. Or maybe \u2014 and this one is a long shot \u2014 he left your husband off the guest list by accident. His choice, his life, his decision.<\/p>\n

Are you overreacting? No, you are entitled to feel the way you feel. If you had lost money in the stock market, I would say the same. But how you act upon those feelings and how long you choose to entertain them is a question for you alone. Give it a week, accept that people have the right to accept gifts and make their own guest lists, and let it go. When you see them, say, \u201cCongratulations.\u201d And mean it.<\/p>\n

Do you speak up? If your husband is part of a friend group, I don\u2019t see how it could do anyone any good to ask why he wasn\u2019t invited to the wedding. It could cause a rift with the other men in the friend group. Bradley will either say it was an oversight, which may or may not be true, or he will say that the numbers were limited. It will only leave you with more questions, and renewed feelings of discontent.<\/p>\n

Let Bradley do Bradley. Next time you have free tickets, strike his name off the list.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n<\/figure><\/div>\n

Readers write to me with all sorts of dilemmas.\u00a0<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

By emailing your questions, you agree to have them published anonymously on MarketWatch. By submitting your story to Dow Jones & Co., the publisher of MarketWatch, you understand and agree that we may use your story, or versions of it, in all media and platforms, including via third parties<\/em><\/strong>.<\/p>\n

The Moneyist regrets he cannot reply to questions individually.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

More from Quentin Fottrell:<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u2018Tipping culture is out of control\u2019: I was asked to tip 15% for a charitable donation. Is it time to say \u2018no\u2019 to these requests?<\/p>\n

If a restaurant automatically adds a 20% tip, am I obliged to pay? Should tipping not be optional?\u00a0<\/p>\n

My brother-in-law is being honored by a charity, but tickets for the ceremony cost $375. Shouldn\u2019t he offer to pay for my ticket?<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/div>\n

Read the full article here<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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