{"id":18405,"date":"2023-06-05T12:11:50","date_gmt":"2023-06-05T16:11:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ifintechworld.com\/news\/im-concerned-my-friends-will-think-im-cheap-i-used-to-give-friends-kids-100-gift-cards-but-i-left-my-job-in-tech-is-25-an-insult\/"},"modified":"2023-06-05T12:11:51","modified_gmt":"2023-06-05T16:11:51","slug":"im-concerned-my-friends-will-think-im-cheap-i-used-to-give-friends-kids-100-gift-cards-but-i-left-my-job-in-tech-is-25-an-insult","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ifintechworld.com\/?p=18405","title":{"rendered":"\u2018I\u2019m concerned my friends will think I\u2019m cheap\u2019: I used to give friends\u2019 kids $100 gift cards, but I left my job in tech. Is $25 an insult?"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

Dear Quentin,<\/h2>\n

I am 52 and live alone on a single income.<\/p>\n

For the past 15 years, I earned a large salary in a demanding role at a tech company.\u00a0 The company was sold and I took time off and then started a different job in a new industry. I earn half of my old salary, and I have 75% less stress.<\/p>\n

\n

I have been generous in the past when giving gifts for graduations or birthdays for my sister\u2019s or friends\u2019 children ($50 or $100 gift cards). Now my budget is greatly reduced, and I can only offer $25 gift cards. Is that an insult?<\/p>\n

I am concerned my friends will think I\u2019m cheap.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Do you have advice for me?<\/p>\n

Aunt and Friend Who Wants To Do the Right Thing<\/p>\n

Dear Aunt and Friend,<\/h2>\n

What matters is that you remember their birthdays and mark their graduations \u2014 not whether you give $25, $50 or $100. There\u2019s something more valuable than a $100 gift card, and that\u2019s a card with a message saying you wish you could be there to celebrate.\u00a0<\/p>\n

We are all under orders from etiquette experts to give X amount if you\u2019re a parent and Y amount if you\u2019re an aunt or uncle or a close friend. This guide even suggests that you add $100 for every degree earned. What a load of poppycock!<\/p>\n

But there is no hard and fast rule. It all depends on what you can afford. You could also buy something like a board game or card game for the entire family to enjoy. Monopoly has editions for many U.S. cities.<\/p>\n

The reason etiquette experts give ranges for how much to give for graduations, birthdays, communions and bar or bat mitzvahs is to help take away any social awkwardness and provide a framework to make life easier. All those guides should have caveats based on income.<\/p>\n

The Moneyist, to be fair, is guilty of this too. I recommend tipping in restaurants up to 20%, although that varies by restaurant and by city. But I don\u2019t think your friends or siblings are holding you to the same one-on-one social contract that a customer enters into with wait staff.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Your siblings\u2019 and friends\u2019 children will receive many cards from friends and family for birthdays and other special occasions. I don\u2019t see them shaking each envelope for a check or a $50 gift card. Children want to be remembered by their friends and family, and they want to be seen.<\/p>\n

You could also do other things like take them to the movies, out for pizza or for a game of tennis in the park when you\u2019re next in town. There are so many ways to connect with your nieces and nephews and your friends\u2019 children.<\/p>\n

Remember: time + birthday card = memories. <\/p>\n

Amazon
\n AMZN,
\n +0.77%<\/bg-quote>
\n gift cards can\u2019t put a price on that.<\/p>\n

Readers write to me with all sorts of dilemmas.\u00a0<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

You can email The Moneyist with any financial and ethical questions related to coronavirus at qfottrell@marketwatch.com, and follow Quentin Fottrell on\u00a0<\/em><\/strong>Twitter.<\/em><\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

By emailing your questions, you agree to have them published anonymously on MarketWatch. By submitting your story to Dow Jones & Co., the publisher of MarketWatch, you understand and agree that we may use your story, or versions of it, in all media and platforms, including via third parties<\/em><\/strong>.<\/p>\n

Check out\u00a0<\/em><\/strong>the Moneyist private Facebook<\/em><\/strong>\u00a0group, where we look for answers to life\u2019s thorniest money issues. Readers write to me with all sorts of dilemmas. Post your questions, tell me what you want to know more about, or weigh in on the latest Moneyist columns.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

The Moneyist regrets he cannot reply to questions individually.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

More from Quentin Fottrell:<\/strong>\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u2018How to travel for free\u2019: I spent $500 hosting my friend for a week. Should she have paid for food and utilities?<\/p>\n

\u2018I\u2019m 63 and desperately hate my work\u2019: Should I pay off my mortgage, claim Social Security and quit my job?<\/p>\n

\u2018He\u2019s content living paycheck to paycheck\u2019: My husband won\u2019t work or get a driver\u2019s license. Now things have gotten even worse.<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/div>\n