{"id":13096,"date":"2023-05-24T08:46:30","date_gmt":"2023-05-24T12:46:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ifintechworld.com\/news\/i-feel-pressure-to-attend-my-brother-in-law-is-being-honored-by-a-charity-but-tickets-cost-375-should-i-tell-him-its-too-pricey\/"},"modified":"2023-05-24T08:46:30","modified_gmt":"2023-05-24T12:46:30","slug":"i-feel-pressure-to-attend-my-brother-in-law-is-being-honored-by-a-charity-but-tickets-cost-375-should-i-tell-him-its-too-pricey","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ifintechworld.com\/?p=13096","title":{"rendered":"\u2018I feel pressure to attend\u2019: My brother-in-law is being honored by a charity, but tickets cost $375. Should I tell him it\u2019s too pricey?"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

Dear Quentin,<\/strong><\/h2>\n

My brother-in-law is being honored by an organization that provides medical assistance to children of families who can\u2019t afford the treatments. I was included on the email notice invitation and the ticket price is $375 per person. I feel that it is unfair to ask for an individual to incur such an expense.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\n

I feel pressure to attend from my brother-in-law and his wife. My brother-in-law is on the board and was part of the team that created the ticket pricing. While it may be OK for a business, it\u2019s an exorbitant price for an individual \u2014 namely me. Should I pay the price of admission, or tell him it\u2019s too pricey and send my regrets?\u00a0<\/p>\n

Feeling Squeezed<\/p>\n

Dear Squeezed,<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Take out two weighing scales, and put four of the following considerations into each cup: (i) the importance of this event in your brother-in-law\u2019s life, (ii) your relationship with him, (iii) whether you can afford to spend $375 on a ticket for one night \u2014 to put that in context, you could spend $335 for one ticket to see \u201cHamilton\u201d on Broadway \u2014 and (iv) knowledge that the money is going toward a good cause (although it does not qualify as a tax write-off in its entirety).<\/p>\n

Friendship can get expensive. And even our extended family can cost a pretty penny. That includes spending $5,000 on a destination wedding, attending a friend\u2019s child\u2019s communion or bar mitzvah or school play, or forking out $400 on a bachelorette party. We do these things because 99% of life is about showing up. It\u2019s often easier to say yes, and we\u2019re usually glad we did it. We see the joy on your loved one\u2019s faces, and we feel good for making the effort.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n
\n

\n \u201c<\/span>\u2018Real friendships leave space for mistakes, making an ill-judged comment and, yes, not showing up for someone\u2019s big night because the ticket costs $375.\u2019\u201d<\/span>\n <\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n

But \u2014 you probably saw that coming \u2014 the bottom line is that no one should be forced to do anything. If it was make-or-break for you to be there and\/or an absolute necessity, he could buy you tickets, and invite you as his guest. Sure, he\u2019s your brother-in-law and it\u2019s a big night for him, but it\u2019s probably enough that his immediate family are there to cheer him on. I don\u2019t think he needs extended family to make up the numbers, particularly<\/em> at those prices.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Every relationship has its own set of parameters. Family invitations can come with baggage. (Exhibit A: \u201cHe\u2019s always been jealous of you. This is the confirmation we need!\u201d) But if that were<\/em> the case here, you probably would have mentioned it in your letter, and it would be one more reason to send your regrets. Real friendships leave space for mistakes, making an ill-judged comment and, yes, not showing up for someone\u2019s big night because the ticket costs $375.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t put a price tag on the invitation, even if you are sending your regrets because it would cost $375 (and another $375 if you decided to bring a plus-one). You could host a drinks for him after the fact, and make a fuss of his achievement. But you are not obliged. Send your brother-in-law a card and a bunch of flowers on the night to congratulate him, and let him know how proud you are of him.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Check out\u00a0the Moneyist private Facebook<\/strong><\/em>\u00a0group, where we look for answers to life\u2019s thorniest money issues. Readers write to me with all sorts of dilemmas.\u00a0<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

By emailing your questions, you agree to have them published anonymously on MarketWatch. By submitting your story to Dow Jones & Co., the publisher of MarketWatch, you understand and agree that we may use your story, or versions of it, in all media and platforms, including via third parties<\/em><\/strong>.<\/p>\n

The Moneyist regrets he cannot reply to questions individually.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

More from Quentin Fottrell:<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u2018When I ran it past the missus, she went ballistic\u2019: I want to buy a $40,000 car, but my wife said no. Then things really got weird.<\/p>\n

\u2018I feel used\u2019: My partner stays with me 5 nights a week, even though he owns his own home. Should he pay for utilities and food?\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u2018Poor people are not stupid\u2019: I grew up in poverty, earned $14 an hour, and inherited $150,000. Here\u2019s what I have learned from my windfall.<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/div>\n

Read the full article here<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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